Amid Myriad Reflections and Elusive Escapes

Amid Myriad Reflections and Elusive Escapes
Winter in Aotearoa | June 2023 | Photo by Başak Altman

Inside me lies a barren expanse, resonant with the desolation of my past when I attributed heartache to others. With age comes a deeper solitude, that transcends the dichotomy of seeking external sources of pain or confronting it within. From birth, we are thrust into family and society, destined to navigate countless encounters before truly knowing ourselves. Amidst this throng, we often lose ourselves amid myriad reflections and elusive escapes.

In this light, it becomes easier to shift blame elsewhere, as it alleviates the burden of isolation. This is what compels us to forge more bonds with more others. How comforting it is to have family, lovers, and friends —to weather hardships together, masking our loneliness with the facade of affection and the illusion of closeness. Yet, many traverse life without ever discovering, hearing, or truly seeing the truth within themselves, as we are seldom guided to do so. Perhaps, humanity's deepest dread lies in facing our innermost selves, grappling with our profound solitariness.

In moments of solitude, we inevitably confront the realities of life, death, and the essence of existence. The initial sense of isolation vanishes, giving rise to a profound connection with the inner self. In solitude, the self wanders freely, unencumbered by the din of the world. There, in the stillness, resides the very core of being, awaiting to be discovered and embraced. Truth emerges in solitude, unmasked and unafraid. As the heart brims with pure love and the mind navigates the maze of thoughts with clarity, aloneness transforms from separation into unification.

In the quietude, we witness barrenness flourishing within. It is in these moments of stillness that we face our fears and unearth the depths of our existence. Here, we discover the strength to confront life's scars, the wisdom to understand our journey, and the courage to walk our path. Thus, solitude is not merely a state of being alone, but an embrace of the self. We are not alone, but whole, connected to the vast existence in ways that transcend the superficial ties of everyday life.

I feel that it is necessary to me, prescribed for me, to be alone, an outsider and alienated from every human context whatsoever.
— Simone Weil

Preserve your solitude!