Flowing Between Fire and Water: A Dance of Divine Energies

One reason why I find life in Thailand, consider it home, and seek healing in its simplicity is the enchanting gender fluidity that permeates its culture. Beyond the superficial stereotypes —like “Thailand is full of ladyboys”— lies a profound plurality, a deep sense of acceptance and inclusion, something more human. Here, you find any type of expression from straight men with nail art, to Muslim gays walking proudly, to transgendered artists flourishing, or intersex leaders shaping communities.

Celebrating Fluidity

I recently observed a dance competition at a school in Ao Luek where kids and teens prepared for hours, from 3 am, adorned in colourful costumes and make-ups. Hundreds of children danced and competed, but what captivated me was the blending of gender in their appearances and movements. Some of the boys wore the flowing garments traditionally assigned to girls, some appeared in heels, some wore make-up. There was no labels, only celebration.

When Westerners look at this kind of dance performances through their cultural lenses, they often see only the surface: "Little kids in makeup and heels is not acceptable." What they miss, blinded by cultural limitations, is the deeper truth —the absence of rigid rules for men or women in this society. Gender fluidity isn't just tolerated but lived in a graceful balance that allows each individual to embody their own truth. This dance show is an expression of true inner worlds, not a mask to be worn on any real-life occasion but a reflection of freedom and authenticity.

However, there's one question that lingers in my mind: why are smoking or drinking habits perceived as inappropriate for women? Though I’ve seen several women smoking, yet there’s still a cultural reticence around the subject. As I practice my own divine femininity, I’m understanding it more. Marijuana calms the masculine energy, which is often fiery and forceful (yang). Femininity, represented as water (yin), move easily with the flow, like a stream winding through rocks, so long as circumstances permit. And those circumstances —the space for women to float— are often shaped by men, by calm men.

Toxic Femininity and Toxic Masculinity

Reflecting on these gendered transitions, I see many toxic masculine threads in my own behavioural patterns. These developed as coping mechanisms in a patriarchal world I was born into. Internally, I'm starving to healing and creating, but the mask I wear is fire, aggressive, and protective. Like many, I’ve had to switch to masculine energies to navigate the rigid structures of patriarchy.

In such societies, men are washed with toxic masculinity. They suppress their emotions, display aggression, and view dominance as a necessity. Women, on the other hand, are often split into two categories. Those who seek success are washed in toxic masculinity —driven by power and status, sacrificing their nurturing instincts. Meanwhile, the majority of women internalises toxic femininity, using manipulation, submissiveness, or emotional suppression to maintain peace or gain approval. Jealousy, imbalance, and competition arise from both all poisons, distorting the true essence of masculinity and femininity.

Divine Femininity and Divine Masculinity

In contrast to these toxic traits, divine energies are not about fixed roles or rigid definitions. They are energies, forces that move through us, seeking balance and expression in their highest forms.

Divine femininity is the energy of creation, intuition, and receptivity. It flows like water, adaptable and life-giving, nurturing all that it touches. Divine femininity seeks connection, healing, and growth, softening the sharp edges of the world through love and compassion. It is the womb of possibilities, embracing change and transformation. Like the ocean, it is deep, mysterious, and endlessly giving, balancing the masculine with its soft but powerful presence.

Conversely, divine masculinity is the embodiment of strength with compassion, action with purpose, and power with humility. It is the force of protection and creation, standing firm in times of uncertainty, not to dominate but to build, to provide stability and security. It is the flame that lights the path, clear and disciplined, but gentle enough to nurture growth. Like the mountain, it is unshakable yet serene, offering shelter and guidance without control.

In Between Shakti and Shiva

One of the most profound examples of the interplay between divine femininity and divine masculinity can be seen in Indian classical dance, particularly in the ancient form of Bharatanatyam. This dance is a spiritual practice as much as an art form, and its movements embody the divine balance of feminine and masculine energies. In Bharatanatyam, the dancer alternates between fluid, graceful gestures that express the divine feminine energy, Shakti, and powerful, grounded movements that represent the divine masculine energy, Shiva.

For instance, in one sequence, a dancer might execute strong, rhythmic footwork to represent Shiva, grounding herself in the earth, exuding control and power. Then, in a seamless transition, she might shift into graceful hand gestures and flowing arm movements to represent Shakti, embodying receptivity and creation. This balance of energies in Bharatanatyam symbolises the union of masculine and feminine within the universe —where destruction and creation, action and rest, strength and softness coexist harmoniously.

Embracing the Divine Balance

The dance, much like life, is a reflection of the need for both forces. Just as the universe needs both day and night, so too does the dancer need both masculine and feminine energies to tell their story, to bring their art to life, and to reflect the divine balance present in all of us. In this way, dance becomes not just a performance but a meditation on the nature of existence itself —a reminder that we, too, are a dance of energies, constantly shifting between masculine and feminine, fire and water, yin and yang.

Gender is a story we tell ourselves about who we are and how we relate to each other.
— Butler