A Drift in Emotional Oscillation

Knowing others is wisdom, knowing the self is enlightenment.
— Lao Tzu

Emotions reflect our inner states in response to stimuli. As the human experience, these emotional responses help us react appropriately to different situations and navigate life. When under pressure, these responses can become exaggerated, adding dark shades over our experience of the world. This heightened emotional state can create a negative feedback loop — distorted perceptions of reality, insurmountable challenges, irritable actions, and strained interactions.

The absence of emotional support can further amplify this emotional disorder. The turbulence that follows abandonment feels like a relentless tornado, with waves of despair crashing into oscillating moments of anger, aversion, and sadness. Yet, as time circles, a gentle light begins to pierce through the dark shades toward an eternal light.

In isolation, a space emerges to re-discover the self. Solitude transforms into a crucible for growth, nurturing inner strength and independence. It's here, in the equanimity, that the foundations of a renewed self are laid, once obscured by the utter confusion of emotions. This journey, though demanding, paves the way for a deeper understanding and appreciation of one’s authentic self.

The most difficult is confronting the little devil that lurks within — the shadowy figure of doubt and fear that often whispers its destructive thoughts. Making peace with this inner adversary is the only way to find true solace. It's not about eradicating this part of ourselves but about recognising it for what it's and learning to coexist with it rather than ignoring its presence. By addressing this inner turmoil head-on, we strip it of its power. There's no need to fear it — it's simply a facet of the human life. Ultimately, we hold the reins in deciding how much of this devil influences us. It's within our power to shape our sense of self, choosing not to let these fears dictate our reality but to acknowledge and transcend them, thereby emerging stronger and more self-aware.

The question of "How much of is I?" delves into the essence of self and the intricate balance among our various selves. How much of I is defined by our sense of self? This reflection invites us to dissect the source and re-explore which aspects of our identity are authentically ours and which are repressed. In grappling with this, we confront the intricacies of selfhood. However, the core of our being—our values, desires, and truths—remains a vital part of our personal definition. Ultimately, understanding how much of 'I' is about embracing our true selves and exercising our agency to shape our identity amidst life's myriad influences. The inner devil is but one of the multifaceted selves.

To live life in peace, immune to all compulsion. Let them scream whatever they want… How would any of that stop you from keeping your mind calm—reliably sizing up what’s around you—and ready to make good use of whatever happens? So that Judgment can look the event in the eye and say, 'This is what you really are, regardless of what you may look like.'
— Marcus Aurelius